THE SECRET OF MALE SEXUALITY

 As we mature as lovers, we are able to gain some control of our arousal in an attempt to please our partners. Generally called our staying power, this ability is often achieved by learning to distract ourselves from our arousal (thinking about baseball statistics, for example) rather than by learning to sensitize ourselves to it. True ejaculatory control comes from knowing your individual arousal rate, not ignoring it. As you learn to feel your rising pleasure more, it will become easier for you to take the multi-orgasmic path.The ejection of semen from your body actually occurs in two parts. In the contractile (sometimes called "emission") phase, the prostate contracts and empties semen into the urethra. In the expulsion phase, the semen is propelled down the urethra and out the penis. When you become multi-orgasmic you will experience the pleasurable pelvic contractions – what we will call con ractile-phase orgasm , which is felt as a popping or fluttering sensation in your prostate – without actually ejaculating. Though some men have multiple ejaculations during one love-making session (this is easiest for teenage boys), it should be clear by now that this is quite different from multiple – nonejaculatory – orgasms. t As you are becoming highly aroused, a few drops of clear fluid may trickle out of your penis. This preseminal fluid comes from the prostate and other glands, such as the Cowper’s glands, which produce an alkaline fluid used to lubricate the urethra and pave the way for the sperm. The Taoists called this liquid water, which they distinguished from milk, or semen. This fluid is perfectly natural and signals the approach of contractile-phase orgasm. It may, however, have a number of sperm in it. This is the "pre-ejaculate" that they warn you about in sex-education classes, so you will need to make sure that you continue to use birth control even if you don’t ejaculate. However, if you have nonejaculatory orgasms, the chances of you and your partner having an unplanned pregnancy are much lower. WHERE DOES THE SEMEN GO WHEN I DON'T EJACULATE? The semen is broken down and reabsorbed by the body, just as the sperm are reabsorbed in a man who has had a vasectomy. However, the effects of the Taoist techniques on the body are very different from those of a vasectomy. With a vasectomy, the vas deferens is cut just above the testicles and the sperm have nowhere to go. They are eventually reabsorbed, but many men complain about feeling congestion in the testicles and pelvis. If you have had a vasectomy, it is additionally important for you to practice the Testicle Massage exercise (see chapter 8) and to circulate your sexual energy. Both of these techniques help the body absorb the sperm and reduce any feeling of fullness or congestion. The involuntary contractions of the contractile-phase orgasms that you will learn to experience without ejaculation also massage the prostate, which helps to relieve congestion and keep the prostate healthy. CAN NOT EJACULATING HURT ME? The Taoists have been practicing the techniques given in this book for thousands of years without negative side effects, and in fact with great improvement to their health and longevity. From their study of multi-orgasmic men in the West, Dunn and Trost concur: "None of our subjects has yet developed erectile or ejaculatory difficulties. Our older multiple orgasmic men maintain firm erections after one or more orgasms. In our clinical experience we have not seen men who become sexually dysfunctional following experimentation with multiple orgasms