The Kama Sutra of Cunnilingus

Let’s face it – intercourse, no matter when and how you do it, always has the same basic concept – put the penis in the vaginal canal and move it in and out (or back and forth, depending on how you like to think of it) until one or both partners have an orgasm. How, then, does intercourse stay so…interesting? That’s easy. Many couples like to mix up their sexual routines not by changing what they’re doing but how they’re doing it. In short, they change their sexual positioning. We can steal this idea for cunnilingus and use it much to our advantage! Cunnilingus too, has the same basic concept – lick the vulva. Tongue techniques can get you far, but for fans of cunnilingus (both men and women), this is not always enough. By varying the positions in which you perform cunnilingus on your partner, you can tantalize her, excite her and bring her to a more powerful orgasm than you ever thought imaginable. Š Legs Up – this is probably the most popular and widely used cunnilingus position. In this position, your partner lays on a flat surface and you place your head squarely between her legs. This position is absolutely excellent for uninhibited access to her vulva and this is a position that most women find extremely comfortable. The only drawback of this particular cunnilingus position is that it is very hard on the man’s neck to continue to pleasure his partner in this way. Any person with neck problems or a neck that easily gets cramped up if in one position too long should try another cunnilingus position to not only maximize his comfort but to allow her uninhibited oral sex. If you are one of the latter gentlemen and this particular position tends to cause your neck to stiffen up but your partner really enjoys this position, you can try placing a pillow or two underneath her buttocks to help raise her vulva to a comfortable level for you – one in which your neck is not quite as bent. Variations on this move: She can place her feet flat on the surface next to your shoulders with her knees at an angle (this is the most common position) or she can bring her legs up and place her feet on your shoulders for wider access to her vulva. Generally, the latter position is only for women who are very comfortable with cunnilingus and who are extremely turned on at the time. If a woman is not properly turned on (both physically and mentally), giving you such unrestricted access to her vulva may be uncomfortable for her. If you both are feeling really randy (providing your partner has this type of mobility with her legs) she can bring her legs all the way up towards her head, resting her knees on her chest. Whether her knees are bent or straight does not matter – you will still have the same degree of access to her vulva and generally, this particular variation is more comfortable with the knees against the chest and bent at a 90 degree angle. The latter position gives you the most unrestricted access of all the variations – but be sure to ask your partner first if she is comfortable with the position both physically and emotionally. She may prefer to have her feet flat on the ground to give her more of a feeling of control and that’s okay. These variations can also be varied – isn’t this such a versatile position? She can place one foot on the surface of the bed and the other on your shoulder, she can place on foot on your shoulder and the other knee against her chest or she can place on foot on the surface of the bed and the other knee against her chest to allow for even wider access. With this position, just play around and use your imagination until you find the variation that best suits both you and your partner. Š Legs on Bed – this is another popular move and honestly, is not quite that different from the “Legs Up” position with the exception, of course, that the legs are never “up,” however, they are always touching the bed. Although there are not as many variations on this move as the “Legs Up” move, it is an excellent move for women who prefer to feel more in control of the cunnilingus session. This generally is not a better position for the neck, though, so if your neck is bothersome, continue reading to the other positions. Your partner will assume the same position on the bed (or other surface such as a mat on the floor or the couch) and you will kneel and place your mouth squarely between her legs. This is a position in which you can easily lie down, if that is more comfortable to you. Keep in mind, however, that lying down in this position as well as the “Legs Up” position as opposed to propping yourself up with your elbows creates more of a bend in the neck and can increase neck pain and discomfort. Variations on this move: Your partner can open her legs to any degree that she likes while still keeping the majority of her legs on the bed. Spreading the legs as wide open as possible creates more space to access the vulva and utilize your learned cunnilingus techniques, but having her close her legs partially or all the way may help create more friction and be more pleasurable to her. It is suggested that you try several different variations on this position and discuss with your partner which you like best. Keep in mind that if you are not shaven properly, keeping her legs closed completely may irritate her – your cheeks will be coming into direct contact with your thighs and may create a scratching or burning sensation when you move your head up and down to lick her vulva. Also be aware that having her legs fully closed really only gives you access to her clitoris – it does not allow access to the inner or outer labia, the fourchette or the entrance to her vaginal canal. This is not a good position to start cunnilingus with because as we discussed in the book earlier, starting to lick her clitoris right off the bat may cause her more discomfort and pain than pleasure. Backwards – this is by far the most comfortable cunnilingus position for those of you who get stiff necks with most of the other cunnilingus positions. Sometimes known as the “69” position, you will invert your body so that your legs are on the same end of the bed as her head and her legs are on the same end of the bed as your head. This is great for the neck because the neck retains a much more natural position – such as staying straight or bending downwards ever so slightly – and is great for men who like to take a long time on their ladies or ladies who take a long time to orgasm. There are plenty of variations on this particular cunnilingus position as well – just use your imagination! Generally, in this position, you and your partner can choose whether or not to simultaneously pleasure each other orally by just moving your pelvis directly in front of her face or by moving it off to the side. If both partners enjoy simultaneous oral sex, it can be of great benefit to both of them by allowing them to feel more emotionally and physically connected. Don’t suggest simultaneous pleasure all the time, however, because while she is pleasuring you, she has less focus on the pleasure she is receiving and cannot fully appreciate your cunnilingus efforts. One of the best benefits of this position (no matter the variation) is that facing her vulva downwards naturally allows for a downward tongue stroke. Remember earlier when we said that some women (and almost all women when they’re not aroused) can find an upwards tongue stroke on the clitoris uncomfortable? This is the greatest position to combat that! The tongue naturally strokes the clitoris through the clitoral hood and in a downward motion – therefore eliminating any straight on the clitoral head discomfort. As with the closed-leg position, the backwards position does not allow for much more than clitoral stimulation as the tongue can’t reach quite to the back of the vulva and all the way to the vaginal canal, however, it does allow more access than the closed-leg position. Variations on this move: There are so many variations on this move that it makes it one of the best moves, right along with the “Legs Up” position! The obvious variation is the variation where you can either pleasure her solely or receive additional oral pleasure yourself (simultaneous oral sex), depending on the mood that both you and your partner are in. You can remain on top (either pleasuring just her or receiving pleasure yourself) or you can choose to be on the bottom, with her vulva on top of your mouth. The latter might be a bit uncomfortable if you have to strain your neck to reach her vulva or if she, in a fit of pleasure, sits on your face and you cannot breathe. Generally, however, most men do not have complaints about being on the bottom of a backwards cunnilingus position. One of the only drawbacks of this particular position is that one partner or the other is going to end up with a backside in their face and to some partners, this does not appeal to them. This being completely understandable, a popular variation on this cunnilingus position is the side-to-side “backwards” – meaning that both partners are on their sides with each partner’s feet by the other’s head. This keeps any backsides out of the other’s face and may actually be more comfortable if you plan on pleasuring each other simultaneously – if the woman is on top during a simultaneous oral sex session it can get a little strenuous on her neck trying to maintain a steady up-and-down oral sex motion on your penis. This position can go far if you just get a little creative and talk to your partner about the different ideas you both have about the backwards position and simultaneous oral sex. Š Doggy Style – yes, this particular cunnilingus position takes its name directly from the popular intercourse position – but it does not need to be associated with the same negative connotations and criticism that the intercourse version of the “Doggy Style” position can sometimes get. With this position, your partner will place herself on a solid surface (such as the floor or a bed) on all fours, tilting her hips slightly towards the ceiling. You will position your face within licking and sucking distance of her vulva. The variations on this position is what make it so unique – while the woman generally stays in that same position, her partner can alter his placement in regards to her vulva any which way he chooses, making each doggy style cunnilingus session different. This position is great if you and your partner are feeling especially randy – it can feel a little more “dirty” or “kinky” than a traditional cunnilingus position. Variations on this move: This is where the creativity can come in! You can alter the different variations of this particular cunnilingus position by alternating your positioning. By far the most traditional positioning of the male partner is underneath the woman with his head just far enough up under her body to reach her vulva. This is also a variation on the “Sit on My Face” position in which we will go into more detail about later. Another popular and “randy” position for the male partner is to position yourself in a similar manner as your partner (on all fours) and bring your mouth to her vulva in this way. You can also have her get on all fours on the bed and position yourself on your knees on the floor so that her vulva is just about eye level to you and perform cunnilingus on your partner that way. Generally, anything goes with this position as long as both you and your partner are comfortable with it! Š Sit on My Face – This is a great position if a woman is confident about her body and herself, although we wouldn’t recommend it for every cunnilingus session as it can be somewhat daunting to the male partner. Generally, you will lie down on the bed face up and your partner will “sit” on your face by positioning each knee on either side of your head and her vulva just above your mouth, giving you only enough distance to breathe and suck and lick her vulva. A woman must be confident with her body and confident in herself to be comfortable with this position because as the man is positioned beneath her, he will be looking up at her and get a very good view of her entire body, including the undersides of her breasts. Of course, for many couples this is an extreme turn-on but for some, this kind of uninhibited view can make one or both partners a little uncomfortable. Be sure and discuss the “Sit on My Face” position with your partner before trying it. Variations on this move: A great way to increase your comfort during this move is to support your head with a pillow – this will keep you comfortable long enough to perform the necessary tongue techniques to bring your partner to orgasm. The position described above places the woman facing towards the man’s head – and this, of course, is the most popular way to utilize this position. You can, however, have your partner face away from you (facing your feet) if she likes and this is a great option for any woman who wants to try this particular cunnilingus position but is a little shy about her body. This may not be ideal for the male partner, however, because he may end up with a nose full of her buttocks. This may or may not be an issue for you, but if you decide to try this version of the “Sit on My Face” position, make sure that it is not. Yet another variation on this position is where the woman is facing forward with each knee on either side of her partner’s head but with her elbows and torso propped up (say, on the edge of a bed). This helps support the woman’s body and gives her the chance to relax and enjoy your cunnilingus efforts without worrying about holding her body straight and trying not to suffocate you. Of course, there are plenty of wacky, uncomfortable positions out there for you to try and you can use your imagination to think up anything you might possibly desire! Keep in mind though; you don’t have to try all kinds of positions to impress your partner. Find a few that really work great and stick to them, unless both you and your partner are feeling particularly turned-on and the mood – then you can try some of the more randy positions. So there you have it. Any way you look at it, cunnilingus is a must-have staple to any sexual repertoire and if you can master some of the techniques, your partner will love you for it! Keep in mind that you don’t have to become a cunnilingus connoisseur just to please your partner. Getting a good grip on a few great moves can be enough to send your partner to orgasm heaven. Don’t exhaust your cunnilingus techniques every time you have intercourse or sexual relations with your partner – this keeps it from being special! Do, however, give your partner an excellent, well-planned and thoughtful cunnilingus session complete with the romancing and relaxing beforehand and to-die-for tongue techniques. Even if your partner doesn’t have an orgasm, she will feel pampered, special and loved for your effort. Keep in mind that not only is cunnilingus a physical sensation, it also awakens a very spiritual and emotional being within your partner and if you let her, she will share this emotional side with you through both the giving and taking of sexual pleasure. No matter what you do, as long as you communicate with your partner, listen to her and give her your best effort, you will be successful in cunnilingus.