LASTING PLEASURE

In our society, women are told that they need to please their men sexually. In Taoist sexuality, a great many of the techniques were developed to help men please women. In the end, however, one partner’s pleasure is inseparable from the other’s, according to the Tao. The stereotype of marital relations in our society is of the frigid wife and the ever- desirous husband, but the truth is that there are many women who are more interested in making love than their partners, especially if their partners are being exhausted by sex that focuses on ejaculation. The image of the unsatisfied woman whose lover ejaculates, grunts, and collapses on top of her is so common it has become a cultural joke. It is no wonder that many women lose interest in sex that is frenetic and lacks real connection, physical and emotional. This, too, is a stereotype, and all surveys show that in recent years men have been trying harder to please their partners and to last longer in bed. Your lover probably does not grunt or collapse on top of you if he is interested enough in his and your sexuality to read this book, but Taoist masters have long known that it is difficult for men to maintain an interest in satisfying their partners or in being intimate once they have ejaculated. One multi-orgasmic man explained his experience: "After I ejaculated I didn’t want to and didn’t understand her need to caress and talk after sex. Now that I don’t ejaculate, after lovemaking I love for us to lie together and caress each other slowly, almost in sort of a meditation.” BEYOND THE BIG BANG Fortunately, the Taoists also discovered almost three thousand years ago that orgasm and ejaculation are not the same thing and that men can have orgasms (in fact, multiple orgasms) without ejaculating. This is possible because orgasm and ejaculation are two distinct physical processes, as has more recently been confirmed by Western medical science. The partner of a multi-orgasmic man explained how her husband changed once he learned to orgasm without ejaculating: “My husband used to get tired quickly after he ejaculated. And sometimes he would want to drink alcohol and he would tend to get impatient or annoyed easily. Now he is so energetic and loving. Male sexuality in the West remains incorrectly focused on the inevitably disappointing goal of ejaculation (“getting off”) instead of on the orgasmic process of lovemaking. The Multi-O gasmic Man teaches your partner how to separate orgasm and ejaculation in his own body, allowing him to move beyond focusing on the momentary release of' ejaculation and to cultivate longer-lasting and more profound levels of sexual pleasure with you. Taoist sexuality will allow your partner to be more sensitive to your body as he becomes more sensitive to his own. By moving beyond the Big Bang theory of sexuality, which has often left women unsatisfied, it also allows men and women to harmonize their sexuality for ever- higher levels of intimacy and ecstasy.