POWER AND SEXUALITY

The practices that you are learning are very powerful, and once you learn them it is natural for you to be proud of your ability to master your sexual energy and of your newfound skill in bed. However, it is essential that you avoid the bravado and machismo that accompany so much male sexuality. As Senior Healing Tao instruction Masahiro Ouchi explains, "Sexual Kung Fu is quite easy to learn, and many men start feeling very powerful in bed, but it must not become a power trip. Power is about conquest, which is the opposite of love and any real spiritual practice." Ouchi, who holds a black belt in karate, compares Sexual Kung Fu to what he has observed in karate: "Most people who have black belts use this power incorrectly. They become more rigid and egotistical and lose the sensitivity and gentleness that are the real source of this power." To practice Sexual Kung Fu correctly, you need to open your heart and practice with a spirit of humility and loving- kindness, not arrogance and self-centeredness. Egotism is just an expression of insecurity, and as you learn real sexual confidence, you will be able to let go of pretension and posturing. Remember that this practice and your new sexual energy will magnify your emotions. So it is essential that you cultivate them. If arrogance and egotism are problems for you, try to practice the Six Healing Sounds (see Taoist Ways to T ansform Stress into Vitality ). If you do not address these emotions, they will limit your practice, your pleasure and your partnership. THE ART OF LOVEMAKING Many men who begin practicing Sexual Kung Fu get so involved with their own practice that they lose touch with their partner and with the spontaneous and ecstatic process of lovemaking. You can practice as of as you want on your own, but when you are with your partner, it is extremely important to remember that it is not just your practice. The point of lovemaking is to make love, and from this love comes pleasure and health, it is not about generating sexual energy for yourself or demonstrating your skill. As Masahiro Ouchi explains, "The technique is just that, technique. It is not the real art. You need to learn the technique well enough that you can forget about it. Just like playing a musical instrument, at first you need to learn the scales, but then you need to forget about them and just play from the heart."