FERTILITY

The cycles of a woman’s fertility and menstruation are especially bewildering for most men and have resulted in much fear and confusion. This is not the place for a biology lesson, but there are a few biological facts that every man should know about his lover's body. For example, did you know that although a woman’s egg lives for only twelve to twenty-four hours, she can actually get pregnant as long as five days after intercourse? How is this possible? Before a woman’s ovary releases an egg, her cervical glands release "fertile” mucus. This mucus helps the semen reach the egg, and within ten minutes after ejaculation sperm are already in the fallopian tubes “breathlessly” flapping their tails toward the egg. Other sperm, however, stay in the lining of the cervical canal, where they are nourished and released over a period of three to five days. So if you have intercourse on Saturday night and she has fertile mucus but doesn’t ovulate until Tuesday, you could still become a father on Wednesday. (This is a public- service announcement from your local chapter of Planned Parenthood.) Many women complain that their partners do not take an active role in thinking about, planning, and participating in contraception. With the increased use of condoms, this situation is changing, but not enough. It's good to know the difference between fertile and nonfertile mucus, since condoms do break and no birth control is flawless. Fertile mucus is clear, slick, and stretchy. If you place some between your thumb and forefinger, it will stretch as you separate your fingers, connecting them by a thin, clear thread of mucus. If her mucus is not fertile, it will be white, sticky, and less abundant. Most noticeably, it does not stretch like fertile mucus. If a woman does not become pregnant, the blood and cells that were prepared to nourish the fertilized egg slough off, beginning her menstruation. The menstrual cycle varies tremendously. Few women have an exact twenty-eight-day cycle. Regular cycles can range from three to seven weeks, and some women menstruate only two or three times a year. Although menstruation is different for every woman, the typical pattern of bleeding starts with a light flow of pink-tinged mucus or drops of blood, increasing to a heavy flow of red blood, and then decreasing to brownish “spotting” before stopping altogether. Some women bleed a lot, others a little, but most stop bleeding within a week. During menstruation many women experience symptoms such as sore breasts, bloatedness, pimples, headaches, lower- back pain, diarrhea, and constipation. (Women with chronic herpes may break out around this time as well,) As you can imagine, given all of these discomforts, not to mention the stigma that still surrounds menstruation, many women do not feel very sexual during this time. Others, however, find that menstruation is the time of their greatest arousal, and indeed every part of the cycle is experienced by some women as the time of their most intense desire. For a number of women intercourse during menstruation can even relieve cramping. The more you understand about your partner’s cycle and the more understanding you can be, the more you can harmonize with her through the rhythmic flow of living as well as the rhythmic flow of lovemaking.