You may have heard about a place in a woman’s vagina that when touched can drive her wild. This spot is often called the G spot, named for physician Ernest Gräfenberg, who first described it in 1950. Although not new, the idea of the G spot is still controversial, some women finding it and others not. The current theory is that the G spot is a collection of glands, ducts, blood vessels, and nerve endings that surround a woman’s urethra. So where exactly is it? Most women who report finding the G spot locate it one and a half to two inches from the opening of the vagina on the upper front wall, just behind the pubic bone. (Some women, however, find their G spot farther back.) If you look at your partner s vagina and imagine a clock with the clitoris as twelve o’clock, the G spot is usually somewhere between eleven and one.When a woman is not aroused, the G spot is more difficult to find, but you may be able to feel some bumpy or ridged skin. When stimulated it can swell to the size of a dime or larger, standing out from the wall of the vagina. Alan and Donna Brauer suggest that the best time to find it is just after a woman orgasms: “It is already somewhat enlarged and sensitive.” They recommend stroking it at a rate of about once a second and experimenting with both lighter and heavier pressure. Another good time to stimulate the G spot is when your partner is just approaching orgasm. Either way, your partner is more likely to enjoy this stroking if you do it once she is already highly aroused. Try licking her clitoris with your tongue while touching her G spot with your finger and see how she responds! You should know that some women feel initial discomfort or the urge to urinate when their G spot is stroked, so you should probably discuss your exploratory plans with your partner first and explain that this reaction, if it happens, is normal. The Brauers also suggest lightening your touch. It may take as much as a minute for the discomfort or seeming need to urinate to be replaced with pleasurable sensations. If she is uncomfortable or too concerned about urinating to enjoy your stroking, you might suggest that she try to find the G spot on her own at first. It is easiest for her to find it while sitting or squatting. (If she is concerned about feeling the need to urinate, have your partner sit on the toilet or urinate before lovemaking, which will convince her that her bladder is empty.) Intercourse in the common face-to-face “missionary” position often misses the G spot completely. It is easier to stimulate this area with your penis if your partner lies on her stomach and you enter her from behind, or if she is on top, where she can position herself for her pleasure. Shallow thrusting is also best for stimulating her G spot. Fingers, however, are usually the most direct and effective way to stimulate her G spot at first. Some women report that their most sensitive spots are located at the four o’clock and eight o’clock positions, about midway back along the walls of the vagina. There are nerve bundles at these locations, which may explain their sensitivity to pressure. Through stroking her vagina or thrusting in different directions, you may already have discovered that your partner has additional spots all her own. Remember, though, that not all women have a G spot or any other particular “spot,” and if your partner doesn’t, the last thing you want to do is pressure her or make her feel inadequate. This whole exploration is for her pleasure and is not an attempt to find buttons or knobs that turn her on. Make G-spot stimulation a part of the smorgasbord of pleasure you offer her.
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