WILL OUR LOVEMAKING BECOME MECHANICAL?

At first many women worry that lovemaking with their partner will become mechanical. As Dr. Barbara Keesling points out in her recent book, How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman Wild), many women fear that the techniques for becoming multi-orgasmic that their partners learn will “turn their stud into a mechanical bull.” She testifies that the experience takes a man “into his body, not away from it.” As a sex therapist and former sex surrogate who has trained over one hundred men to become multi-orgasmic, she speaks from personal as well as professional experience. Like learning to play a musical instrument, learning Sexual Kung Fu will take some time and effort and may be a little awkward at first. The best approach is to relax and have fun with it. One multi-orgasmic man described how Taoist sexuality can relax the tension that often exists around sexuality: “It is fun to talk about it; it is fun to laugh about it. It can relax the whole bedroom tension. Because I am talking frankly about my body, women will talk about theirs. I was with one woman who I was telling about my practice and all of a sudden she pulled out her vibrator, and she said, ‘I was never going to show this to anyone because I’ve been so uptight about my sexuality. But I feel I can share anything with you because you were able to share this with me.’And that was really cool.” Most men learn about sex through masturbation and pornography. For whatever reasons – guilt, inexperience, fear of getting caught – most men learn to masturbate quickly. Pornography also generally takes men away from their bodies. It is no surprise then that most men are not very connected to their bodies or aware of their arousal rates. Taoist sexuality teaches men to learn their body’s true potential to experience pleasure and to pleasure their partners. Although at first your partner will need to concentrate on learning to control his arousal rate and his urge to ejaculate, once he has this control he will be much better able to concentrate on you and on the profound process of lovemaking you are both engaged in.