Most people who know anything about Taoism have heard about yin and yang and their complementary and cyclical positions in the symbol of the Tao. Most people know that yin is the feminine energy in the universe and that yang is its masculine counterpart. These two primordial energies are the electron and proton that allow all creation to occur and allow you and your partner to harmonize and refine your sexual energy. In the words of the I Ching, “The interaction of one yin and one yang is called Tao, and the resulting constant generative process is called 'change.'" According to Su Nü, "Yang can function only with the cooperation of yin, yin can grow only in the presence of yang.” We have both masculine and feminine energies inside each of us, and yin and yang are dynamic forces that actually can change into one another. Many people in the West now argue that male and female are simply socially constructed gender terms. According to the Tao, however, although there is much variability from individual to individual, men generally have more yang (masculine) energy and women generally have more yin (feminine) energy. The Tao has always recognized that men are also partly feminine and women also partly masculine and that any binary opposition is clearly false. This idea is represented in the symbol of the Tao by a small circle representing the masculine within the feminine symbol and a small circle representing the feminine within the masculine symbol. Each contains a part of the other.Though we should avoid binary opposition, we must be aware of our different needs, especially in the bedroom, or suffer the consequences. For example, yang is more quickly aroused and also more quickly extinguished; yin is more slowly aroused and more slowly extinguished. Because men tend to be more yang and women more yin, they also can help bring each other into better balance through the exchange of their energy during lovemaking. It is ideal if both partners are consciously aware of how this exchange takes place, and in the next chapter we explain what your partner will need
to know about channeling her own energy. It is possible to feel the exchange of energy with a loving partner even if she does not know about Taoist sexuality, but it will be difficult to do exercise 13 without her active and informed participation. The more you can share with her, the easier and more powerful the exchange will be. If you are having difficulty drawing your partner’s energy up, you should contract your penis, your perineum, and your anus. Pumping these muscles lightly several times will help you draw the energy up. (You can also rhythmically sip up her energy with short breaths as in the Cool Draw exercise.) Once you have good control over your sexual energy and are not worried about ejaculating, you can send your hot yang energy out your penis and into your partner. She in turn should imagine sending her cool yin energy from her vagina to your penis. You cannot receive her yin energy without giving her your yang energy. Allowing her to absorb your excess yang energy will also help you avoid building up too much energy in your genitals and ejaculating. If you ejaculate, it is difficult to exchange energy, because you lose most of yours. Remember, it is the exchange that is important. You will probably not be able to open all the points along the spine during your first exchange of sexual energy. It may take many times – it may even take months – but eventually you will feel the warm current between your mouths and between your genitals. “Sometimes,” described one multi-orgasmic man, “when we are both orgasming we will be kissing passionately and will feel the energy going right through the both of us. Just driving through our tongues, down my body, through my penis, into her vagina, and up through her body back to our tongues, It is incredible.” At first the energy may seem so explosive that you have a hard time distinguishing between your and your partner’s energy. However, eventually you will be able to distinguish between your partner’s cool yin energy and your hot yang energy. If your partner does not know how to circulate her own energy, you can help her by a guiding the energy from your penis to her vagina, up her spine to her crown, down to her tongue and yours, and then back down her front to her vagina.
to know about channeling her own energy. It is possible to feel the exchange of energy with a loving partner even if she does not know about Taoist sexuality, but it will be difficult to do exercise 13 without her active and informed participation. The more you can share with her, the easier and more powerful the exchange will be. If you are having difficulty drawing your partner’s energy up, you should contract your penis, your perineum, and your anus. Pumping these muscles lightly several times will help you draw the energy up. (You can also rhythmically sip up her energy with short breaths as in the Cool Draw exercise.) Once you have good control over your sexual energy and are not worried about ejaculating, you can send your hot yang energy out your penis and into your partner. She in turn should imagine sending her cool yin energy from her vagina to your penis. You cannot receive her yin energy without giving her your yang energy. Allowing her to absorb your excess yang energy will also help you avoid building up too much energy in your genitals and ejaculating. If you ejaculate, it is difficult to exchange energy, because you lose most of yours. Remember, it is the exchange that is important. You will probably not be able to open all the points along the spine during your first exchange of sexual energy. It may take many times – it may even take months – but eventually you will feel the warm current between your mouths and between your genitals. “Sometimes,” described one multi-orgasmic man, “when we are both orgasming we will be kissing passionately and will feel the energy going right through the both of us. Just driving through our tongues, down my body, through my penis, into her vagina, and up through her body back to our tongues, It is incredible.” At first the energy may seem so explosive that you have a hard time distinguishing between your and your partner’s energy. However, eventually you will be able to distinguish between your partner’s cool yin energy and your hot yang energy. If your partner does not know how to circulate her own energy, you can help her by a guiding the energy from your penis to her vagina, up her spine to her crown, down to her tongue and yours, and then back down her front to her vagina.
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