Pleasuring Your Partner

Unlike men’s arousal, women’s has no precipice. True, many women will have orgasms that they find so fully satisfying (and climactic) that they do not need to continue making love. And as we discussed earlier, some women even ejaculate. But since women do not have to worry about losing an erection or spilling their seed, they can generally surrender themselves to pleasure in a way that men cannot. Nevertheless, women do not fall into bliss without effort. Reaching orgasm, multiple orgasms, and expanded orgasms requires knowledge, skill, and effort of women just as it does of men. Here’s how you can help. In Sexual Kung Fu all aspects of touch are seen as part of the union between man and woman. Touching hands or lips is as much a part of harmonizing with one another as is intercourse. As with self-pleasuring, you probably have your own way of pleasuring your partner, and though most women have the same general erogenous zones, each woman, of course, has different sensitivities at different times. Try out these Taoist techniques, but let your partner’s preferences be your guide. “The essence of foreplay is slowness,” states the Discourse on the Highest Tao Under Heaven. “If one proceeds slowly and patiently, the woman will be exceedingly joyful. She will adore you like a brother and love you like a parent. One who has mastered this Tao deserves to be called a heavenly gentleman.” Because anticipation and growing intensity are important in bringing your partner’s desire to a boil, you should begin with passionate kissing. Begin at her extremities rather than her genitals. Caress, massage, and kiss her hands and wrists as well as her feet and ankles. Move up her arms and legs to her abdomen. Stimulating points along the meridians of her body (energy channels) will help increase her sexual excitement: there are many points along or near her spine (the Back Channel), such as the small of her back, her neck, and her ears. The underside of the arms and the inside of the thighs are also very sensitive on most women. By caress, we mean that your touch should generally be featherweight, although it can be heavier when you are stimulating larger muscles such as her buttocks.