Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Oral sex anytime, anywehere

Anytime, Anywhere O ral sex is clearly ideal for the spur of the moment.
Make  sure  you  have  clothes  you  can  still  emerge
into the world wearing. Don’t kick your heels off so far
you can’t find them. (I did that in a hotel ballroom on
New Year’s Eve, and my date had to carry me to the car.)
Be aware afterwards that sex will have disoriented you, so
be careful neither of you puts the car in reverse by mis-
take and collides into something. Don’t get arrested for
disorderly behavior. Police officers are familiar with the
outdoor hideaways we think are so original. If they flash
a light on you, don’t say, as my friend Mercy did, “It’s all
right, officer, I’m thirty-eight years old.”
k The  most  erotic  locales  are  close  at  hand.  A  lover
whisks after you into the dressing room of a lingerie
store where he’s buying your Valentine’s Day gift.
k Think spontaneous and feel wicked. No one saw the
head chef reach his hand back to tickle me while lec-
turing  to  the staff of  the  trendy  Chelsea restaurant.
Normally I would have rebuffed him, but there wassomething about those bedroom eyes when he turned
and leered. No one saw us go behind his desk in the
office just off the kitchen minutes later.
k If it’s sex with a stranger, decline. You can masturbate
him if he’s appealing—and feverish. When you have
your  wits  back  you’ll  be  grateful  it  was safe  (and
minimally involved) sex.
k A parked car is fantastic. Many superior locales for
giving  head  are  outdoors,  but  check  for  bugs  and
poison ivy.
Getting Creative about Locale
k Roof of a building—either a building taller than those
surrounding it or one where you are relatively unob-
served unless you are an exhibitionist
k A private sauna—make it quick!
k Going up in an elevator
k In a golf cart
k In a canoe
k Climb a tree—apple boughs are good, mulberry and
beech are very climbable, avoid trees with resin
k In a restaurant booth—find the out-of-the-way table,
with a tablecloth that drapes over the sides
k On a fire escape or in an emergency stairwell
k In a long car wash
k The bathroom of an airplane
ultimate guide to oral sex
80k A golf course at midnight
k In an orchard
k The fast-food drive-through, but time it first
k The quiet reading room in a library
k The stacks in a research library
k Riding a Ferris wheel
k Staying behind on a museum or historic house tour
Arousal in the Car
Our desire goes from the ethereal to the animal. When
you  tingle  all  over  picturing  his  eyes,  that’s  ethereal.
When you’re in the front passenger seat and he’s driving
and you want to unzip his fly, shimmy down his jeans,
and release his cock, that’s animal. See?
Whose idea was it to go beyond heavy petting while
you were in the car? Did he place your hand on his crotch
when you entwined his fingers, or did it sort of levitate
there on its own? Did you have an impulse to excite him
into  a  frenzy  and  make  the  move  on  his  favorite  part?
Whether he led or you did, you are headed for primal fun.
k You can play around until you get home and hightail
it into bed. If he’s had even a glass of wine and it’s
three in the morning, or if it’s raining so the visibility
is poor and the roads might be slippery, scratch the
possibility  of  anything  more  explosive.  Foreplay  is
your only choice.
anytime, anywhere
81k If he’s completely alert and you’re going 35 mph on a
well-marked  road  in  clement  conditions…you  can
slay him. Start giving him oral sex on the road, and
then  have  him  park  in  a  place  where  you  are  very
unlikely to be disturbed. Usually the same man who
forgets how you take your coffee or tea will suddenly
turn into a remote sensing system. Amidst the most
built-up suburb, he’ll find that secluded spot for you to
finish his blow job.
k As a late bloomer, I missed sex in the back seat when
it was a rite of passage for many other adolescents. I
learned  about  sex  in  the  front  seat  only  eight  years
ago,  from  a  bodybuilder/MTV  dancer/Men’s  Health
cover model that I met (of course) at a gym where I
was working out. When I arranged a tryst with this
beautiful man at a beautiful estate park, I thought we
would spread out a blanket and frolic on the lawn. But
when he pulled up in his car, he said, “Hop in.” I had
the time of my life with his cock in the car as he drove
well under the speed limit on the back roads of town.
k This  special  locale  for  oral  sex  requires  an  artful
approach. Forget caressing the rest of his body, which
will remain clothed and is inhibited by his being buck-
led in the seat. Turn off any distracting music. You stay
buckled in while you squeeze and slide your hands on
his pants. Brace yourself—strong abs help. Help him
ultimate guide to oral sex
82out of his fly and then move both of your hands on
him, rotating them over him like an energy healer. The
idea is to get him to the limit while keeping your seat-
belt on. You then unbuckle your belt very briefly and
give very intentional head. In general, a man is trying
so hard to control his reaction while he drives that he
doesn’t reach orgasm, but he loves every second.
k This game should continue parked, for obvious safe-
ty reasons. So be careful to give just a few licks! After
you’ve  sucked  on  his  naked  dick  for  ten  or  fifteen
seconds,  put  your  seatbelt  back  on  and  caress  his
neck,  ears,  or  whatever  you  can  reach  that’s  away
from  his  genitals.  Let  him  decide  how  to  conclude
the sex play, whether in a parking lot, a deserted spot,
or home.
k Men get sexed up when they drive. This is partly due
to the vibration of the vehicle that sends extra blood
into the penis, and partly a residue from that macho
feeling  driving  evokes.  So  tease  him,  start  to  have
your way with him, and animate yourself as his per-
sonal sex goddess.
Musical Accompaniment
A quiet night, sensual as black velvet, lends itself to a blow
job.  But  so  does  your  own  private  hip-hop  or  Metallica
party.  Sometimes  you  want  to  hear  his  heartbeat,  and
anytime, anywhere
83other  times  be  swept  into  a  rhythm  or  counter-rhythm
that’s rowdy and out of control.
Sometimes you allow the music to set the mood. Go
slowly  to  something  soothing  or  rapidly  to  energized
rock-and-roll. If not for the reason of mood, music sets
the pace and creates wonderful auditory memories.
k Avoid sad ballads about rejected lovers, operas where
the heroine hangs herself or stabs her paramour, and
the blues. You want the guy to identify this wonderful
blow job with happily ever after!
k Music can also provide privacy if you feel inhibited by
the possibility that someone in the same dwelling—or
next door—could overhear you.
k It  should  not  be  like  a  signature  perfume.  Run  the
gamut from Chopin to New Orleans jazz to Moroccan
dances. Because of the humor, warmth, and the sliding
phrasing of the notes, my picks (for now) are albums
by Dr. John and Rufus Wainwright.
Intimate music, in general, creates a more romantic
space than orchestral, choral, or big band music.
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8417
It’s Too Simple? Work
on Your Basics Y ou can branch off, but you want to perfect your plain
and  simple  actions,  which  more  than  satisfy  your
guy. Typically you start by touching him. Don’t smother
him. Use a light, caressing touch, and exploratory strokes
as if to ask, “What will really send you?”
k Roll your fingers around the coronal ridge, clasp the
base, and stroke down on the shaft. The message this
combination of movements gives is “I’ll take care of
all of you.”
k Then you cup a hand over the penis, and go up and
down over the head. The analogy of holding a mega-
phone has been used, but I find that quite off, as noth-
ing you do should encase or constrict the penis. On
the contrary, we want to second its nice proclivity to
move on its own. Maybe a better image is the pulley
rope  on  an  old-fashioned  wishing  well;  stroke  by
stroke until the bucket comes up.k Next  you  touch  him  with  your  lips.  Your  lips  keep
reorienting to the cylinder of the penis as you move
over and down the head. You are as mobile as a puppy
playing with a toy, only the contact of your lips is soft,
and the tussle gentle and implied.
k Then  begin  the  rhythm  that  inflames.  Extend  your
mouth up and down with your hands. Make sure your
mouth is wet, and your hands are warm. The hands
seem to him like a seamless extension of your mouth.
The motion is up and down, up and down. Stroking
from the top to the base of the penis while you suck
causes his erection to throb. The strokes are slow and
long, and you suck calmly until you feel an urgency to
his pulsation, at which point you stroke up and down
faster, and suck with more pressure. The rhythm and
speed  of  how  you  take  him  varies.  Be  conscious  of
twisting your head extremely slowly, and then a bit
more briskly while going up and down.
Along  the  way  the  tongue  is  added,  encircling  the
head, and you fondle the balls. Your own head may go
left and right, moving the penis. Finally you keep up your
consistent movements as his arousal is full-blown.
ultimate guide to oral sex
8618
Timing that Jives
with Intercourse A s  soon  as  your  mind  flashes,  “I’m  going  down  on
him,”  while  you’re  still  relatively  composed,  you
have three decisions to make.
k First decide where you want him to get hard—in your
hand or in your mouth. The best position for his erec-
tion to grow in your hand is when he’s seated and you
kneel in front of him, or when you start by standing
and  facing  each  other.  It’s  phenomenal  to  see  his
penis respond, and elongate from a soft comma to a
big staff. The smaller the penis at rest, the more inch-
es it adds (dramatically) when erect. Enter the spirit
of play. Ring the glans gently at the head and increase
pressure as you move down the shaft. Women tend to
project and treat the shaft more gently than is wont.
Think  “manhandle”  and  you’ll  give  him  what  he
wants. Often a man will put his hand over yours to
assist with the rhythm; this is intimately expressive,
and not a sign you’re not doing it right!k Be sure you hand is warm. Also, a trace of massage oil
is fine, but sometimes I’ve found myself literally greas-
ing the pole, so I make sure any cream or oil I used to
give the sex massage has been absorbed in his skin.
Caress the sweet points on his inner thighs, near the
crease. Circle your palms on the groin area, and watch
when  his  skin  tightens  or  his  breathing  changes.
(Your  hands  are  your  divining  rod.)  His  penis  may
perk or may wait like a jungle beast in hiding.
k If he’s quiet and tense or reaches out to pinch your
nipples or probe you with a finger, you can be sure you
have  him  enthralled.  You  now  make  the  second
decision, which is whether you want him to touch you
or  whether  you  want  to  continue  without  the
distraction. Some men will like to pull your hair or
play with your underwear; if you have any instinct to
brush him away, don’t be shy. Remember that overall,
he loves your mastery of this act.
k I like the wicked way it feels when I fasten my mouth
at the bulb of the penis, and bring his erection while
he’s in my mouth. Just be sure you don’t do a taffy pull
on the penis while it’s still flaccid. It’s better to stim-
ulate the bulb or base with some force with your lips,
while ballooning your mouth cavity in such a way it
suggests  the  next  step,  when  his  penis  swells  and
impresses itself inside your mouth. The finale of the
ultimate guide to oral sex
88erection is when you take your mouth off it, look, and
lick it all around.
k Your third decision is whether you want him to ejac-
ulate in your mouth or in your sex. If this was an appe-
tizer, the hazard is you do it, but then can be let down
in intercourse when he comes quickly. For this reason,
I recommend that if you are sequencing the blow job
with intercourse, you start with the entrée, get all the
pleasure  you  can,  and  then  (reckoning  his  staying
power from what you know about him) give him the
blow job as his dessert.
k Another superb method of timing is more of a buffet.
You suck on him until the point when he comes, and
then  later  arouse  him  from  his  apparent  stupor  for
more  sex.  He  is  going  to  have  more  staying  power
than he would have had before.
Timing that jive with intercourse
8919
Creams to Use or Skip T he lotion you use on his body or yours can be all-
purpose; it just has to leave the skin soft and supple.
Test it on your hands before using it in the vicinity of
the  bedroom.  Most  products  are  a  virtual  fruitcake  of
appealing ingredients that, sure as the label says, “aloe
vera,”  are  going  to  gum  up  disastrously  when  you
smooth  them  on.  If  your  trial  webs  your  hands  with
gunk, forget it. If you hate to waste, use it anywhere else
less important than sex or dilute it with mineral oil and
see if it improves.
Also, a man can feel greasy or get stains on his clothes
from lotions and oils. This is so unnecessary—if you buy
a higher quality product, he will have a silky memory of
you for hours. I recommend the nice new line of Yardley
bath lotions (from the drugstore); Caswell-Massey man-
pleasing, century-old, successful formulas (from upscale
pharmacies); and the ultra-pure Kneipp products you can
get  online.  These  companies  don’t  seem  to  do  mass
advertising, but try their formulations; you are going tofeel how superior they are on your lover. They are to be
rubbed  everywhere  except  the  genital  area  (except  for
men who like the extra-slipperiness). There are also some
neat scents from Get Fresh, especially the blackberry.
Gilding the Lily
Oils and lubricants do nothing for most men.
k Feel the petal of a rose. It has a satiny elasticity like
the head of a penis. Like the flower, the penis nearly
always has enough natural lubricant of the skin. Some
penises  are  more  rubbery,  some  velvety,  and  many
satiny. It depends on the weather/season, his age, and
his skin type. You want to know his sexual region in
the biblical sense, not lubricate it to be Male X.
k Feel a sheepskin vest. This is the texture of the skin on
the groin and upper thighs, which is usually covered
with hair, unless he’s Asian or shaves the pubic area.
k The  alternating  between  satin  and  sheepskin  is
exciting; be aware of it as you caress him.
k Notice if his flesh seems cold. When you give head,
you  burn  a  lot  of  calories  and  heat  up  because  you
work your muscles and build up a grinding need. Your
partner, however, is next to immobile. A silk kimono
thrown over his belly will warm and melt him.
k Some people are funnier than others when they have
sex, just as some like to spank or writhe more. If you
ultimate guide to oral sex
92creams to use or skip
93
like to be funny, whipped cream from a can may be to
your taste. Get the low-fat kind if you don’t feel like
putting back all the calories that good sex burns.
k Because  oral  sex  and  massaging  go  together  like  a
horse and carriage, you’ll need a massage oil. I feel as
though I’ve tried them all—exotic concoctions bought
at street fairs and sex stores. If you use the mystery oils
that claim to be aphrodisiacs for passion or sensuality,
keep a wet washcloth handy to rub them right off if
you or your partner dislikes the scent or feel.
k The  best  product  I  can  recommend  is  Masculine
Moments, available by mail order from Green Valley
Aromatherapy.  This  is  not  overbearing  in  its  scent
and was blended with a man’s preferences for a clean,
spruce-like aroma. I have had success with it. It can be
blended into a massage oil (called a “carrier oil” in the
herbal pharmacological trade), such as almond oil. It
is massaged into the lower pelvis, and lower back and
buttocks region. It is not for direct application to the
penis or any mucous membrane.
k As for a gliding product, I’ll modify what I’ve just said
to  rave  about  two  products.  From  Green  Valley
Aromatherapy  you  can  get  a  snow-white  Virgin
Coconut Oil that looks like Royal Frosting, and mas-
sage it into his sexy nether region. The oil is amazing,
all  natural,  and  has  great  slip.  And  it’s  edible.Another pre-mixed massage oil I like, because it stays
fresh for several months, and when he dresses again it
has been totally absorbed into his skin, is Kneipp. For
a hundred years, Kneipp has been the ne plus ultra of
bath products; and their massage oils, from the mint
to the nutty, are bliss to touch and feel on your skin.
They have therapeutic ingredients that are in more
mundane, cheaper products; but if the Kneipp bottle
says hops, juniper, or rosemary, you are going to feel
the benefit for real. I begin to vibrate as soon as the
Jojoba Massage Oil from Kneipp hits my palm.
k From the Massage Warehouse, you can order a mas-
sage oil specially prepared for the hairy portions of the
body  (www.massagewarehouse.com).  I  found  this  to
be a godsend, because regular massage products have
no traction on hairy legs or the pubic area.
k The sound of slickness excites some men as much as
your cooing and moaning. It can be the slickness of
your saliva or the massage oil: the sound of wet! One
last tip about oils: save the lubricant for a hand job.
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Making Him Big A s the pleasure amplifies, his penis grows bigger and
more  sensitive.  What  goes  on  with  us  is  largely
unseen,  but  remember  that  a  man’s  dick  is  something
that for much of his life—solo or with us—he likes to
watch. That a man sees himself as a love object means he
loves  to  see  a  woman  objectify  his  pole.  It  makes  him
harder  and  bigger  to  catch  glimpses  of  the  woman’s
activity. However, during sex his attention span is short,
so  there  is  usually  a  brief  interlude  when  he’s  halfway
there when it will make him bigger and harder if you give
him a teasing view.
k Prop his head up on two soft pillows so he sees. Soft
is really better; no bolsters please. I empty out cheap
pillows  and  fill  them  with  extra  soft  goose-down—
less  full  than  normal  pillows—which  makes  them
versatile for all kinds of sexual enjoyment.
k Massage some body cream into your breasts and press
him there so he can rub up and down. The same idea—
he sees himself rev up.k It engorges a penis if your mouth is very warm. If you
drink some hot tea (ruby red hibiscus seems suitable),
then  take  his  penis  in  your  mouth  or  suck  on  his
testicles, it will make him even bigger.
k When you wake the sleeping giant in the morning by
nudging the base of his penis and licking his scrotum,
he will go from zero to max.
k When he’s nearly in heaven and you talk about how
big and hard his penis is, it will grow still harder and
bigger.
k Another technique is to bring him almost to climax
and  then  take  your  mouth  and  hands  away  and  let
him cool down, only to return shortly. This has a way
of intensifying his erection.
k Why not put a mirror in a strategic position—this
can  make  him  want  to  excel,  which  makes  him
bigger. It’s a fact that men look at themselves more
in the mirrors at the gym than women do. Does that
mean they are more vain? No! They get pumped up
by seeing themselves pumped up. He’ll watch him-
self roll around on  your  tongue  and  disappear into
your mouth. His penis is the star of your own private
porn flick.

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