Lessons in Love Y ou aren’t going to win your oral sex trophy by going
down on a peeled cucumber or sticking a tooth-
brush down your throat. Like any meaningful education,
to become magnifique at oral sex takes mental focus and
understanding—in this case understanding both the act
and the guy.
We love with our bodies in order to be in a relationship
where, in exchange, our body is treasured and feels it has a
safe home. This is natural and sensible, not self-serving. It
means that no matter how generously we love, we have a
goal: to affect and seduce the male. Instruction in love,
from the gospel of John to the Dalai Lama, focuses on self-
lessness, while the sex guides emphasize mutual pleasure.
However, as women sexually involved with men in the
real world, let’s admit to goals of wanting to snow them.
You can read all the sexual technique books in the
world, from the Kama Sutra to Anne Hooper. But how do
you improve your performance in lovemaking? How to
be his porn star and reach that place no one else ever canas the leading lady in his male psyche? You aren’t going
to find this advice on daytime television or in glossy mag-
azines. I went to Harvard and I believe in continuing
education—experience is gravely misunderstood to be
the sole teacher of sexual technique.
The hero in romance novels is thrilled that the hero-
ine is stupid about the reflexes of his dick. This shows
she’s a virgin (or the first time was either an impotent
eighty-year-old Scottish lord or rape). Note how once
the petting and heavy breathing crank up, the maiden
astonishes the hero by quickly learning how to touch
him! That’s because being dumb about sexual moves is,
well, dumb. Mammals and primitive people copulate, but
courtship and seduction are for monogamous relation-
ships between civilized men and women.
That sex comes naturally is such a half-truth! We’re
all beginners with every partner, and sex with a man you
love has infinite variety. But it’s possible to go through
life having sex every night, and babies galore, and be
ignorant about the finer points. Great sex is evolved
through awareness, getting in touch with your inner
femme fatale, and concentrating when you make love.
Slipping on the ice is not figure skating, cracking open
an egg is not baking a soufflé, and my subject is about an
art more exciting to lusty grown-ups than a mere roll in
the hay.
ultimate guide to oral sex
6My Wish for You
I want for you not to contract any diseases or get your
butterfly wings tattered from sipping blossoms hither and
yon. I want for you what you want for yourself—a life-
time of intimacy and love.
We enjoy sex. We express our sexuality. We know
about climaxing and orgasms, and hormonal surges. We
are hyperaware that promiscuous sex can be deadly. We
don’t need the encouragement to be openly sexual crea-
tures that most of our mothers needed. We need to
improve our craft.
We know that “casual sex” is an oxymoron, and that
powerful sex can feel terribly and irrevocably important.
Just fucking is a cheat because one of the paramount
aspects of our womanhood, establishing intimacy with a
man, is fundamentally fragile. Sometimes even casual sex
breaks our hearts. If we’re smart, we try to operate in at
least serial monogamy. For most of us, monogamy is our
ideal achievement.
Therefore we wonder, above all, how do we spice it up?
To do it we have to use a bit of the same ambitiousness for
our sex lives that we use for our jobs, bodies, or families.Beyond Instinct, Art
Your ability to key into a man’s essential fantasies will
have returns you cannot imagine, which will become
apparent from the first few times you try them. Your
power over your man in the bedroom will spread to
everything else you do, and will make you an unbeatable,
sensational couple envied by all.
Is great sex comprised of love and performance, or
being and feeling lovable? The answer: all of the above in
equal measure. Great sex is about feeling wonderful,
revealing the passion in your nature, and the how-to of
touch, position, and body response.
Maybe you are wishing to be sexier to someone new.
Would you like to exchange greater pleasure with your
mate? Do you want your husband to be as crazy for you as
when he bedded you years ago? You want and deserve
great sex, and I am going to show you how you can be a
sober, mature adult on the one hand, and in a permanent
state of arousal and allurement on the other. Bind a man
to you, improve your figure, and make yourself a femme
fatale. Leave other women who begrudgingly give oral sex
limp in the dust as you develop this priceless sexual art.
down on a peeled cucumber or sticking a tooth-
brush down your throat. Like any meaningful education,
to become magnifique at oral sex takes mental focus and
understanding—in this case understanding both the act
and the guy.
We love with our bodies in order to be in a relationship
where, in exchange, our body is treasured and feels it has a
safe home. This is natural and sensible, not self-serving. It
means that no matter how generously we love, we have a
goal: to affect and seduce the male. Instruction in love,
from the gospel of John to the Dalai Lama, focuses on self-
lessness, while the sex guides emphasize mutual pleasure.
However, as women sexually involved with men in the
real world, let’s admit to goals of wanting to snow them.
You can read all the sexual technique books in the
world, from the Kama Sutra to Anne Hooper. But how do
you improve your performance in lovemaking? How to
be his porn star and reach that place no one else ever canas the leading lady in his male psyche? You aren’t going
to find this advice on daytime television or in glossy mag-
azines. I went to Harvard and I believe in continuing
education—experience is gravely misunderstood to be
the sole teacher of sexual technique.
The hero in romance novels is thrilled that the hero-
ine is stupid about the reflexes of his dick. This shows
she’s a virgin (or the first time was either an impotent
eighty-year-old Scottish lord or rape). Note how once
the petting and heavy breathing crank up, the maiden
astonishes the hero by quickly learning how to touch
him! That’s because being dumb about sexual moves is,
well, dumb. Mammals and primitive people copulate, but
courtship and seduction are for monogamous relation-
ships between civilized men and women.
That sex comes naturally is such a half-truth! We’re
all beginners with every partner, and sex with a man you
love has infinite variety. But it’s possible to go through
life having sex every night, and babies galore, and be
ignorant about the finer points. Great sex is evolved
through awareness, getting in touch with your inner
femme fatale, and concentrating when you make love.
Slipping on the ice is not figure skating, cracking open
an egg is not baking a soufflé, and my subject is about an
art more exciting to lusty grown-ups than a mere roll in
the hay.
ultimate guide to oral sex
6My Wish for You
I want for you not to contract any diseases or get your
butterfly wings tattered from sipping blossoms hither and
yon. I want for you what you want for yourself—a life-
time of intimacy and love.
We enjoy sex. We express our sexuality. We know
about climaxing and orgasms, and hormonal surges. We
are hyperaware that promiscuous sex can be deadly. We
don’t need the encouragement to be openly sexual crea-
tures that most of our mothers needed. We need to
improve our craft.
We know that “casual sex” is an oxymoron, and that
powerful sex can feel terribly and irrevocably important.
Just fucking is a cheat because one of the paramount
aspects of our womanhood, establishing intimacy with a
man, is fundamentally fragile. Sometimes even casual sex
breaks our hearts. If we’re smart, we try to operate in at
least serial monogamy. For most of us, monogamy is our
ideal achievement.
Therefore we wonder, above all, how do we spice it up?
To do it we have to use a bit of the same ambitiousness for
our sex lives that we use for our jobs, bodies, or families.Beyond Instinct, Art
Your ability to key into a man’s essential fantasies will
have returns you cannot imagine, which will become
apparent from the first few times you try them. Your
power over your man in the bedroom will spread to
everything else you do, and will make you an unbeatable,
sensational couple envied by all.
Is great sex comprised of love and performance, or
being and feeling lovable? The answer: all of the above in
equal measure. Great sex is about feeling wonderful,
revealing the passion in your nature, and the how-to of
touch, position, and body response.
Maybe you are wishing to be sexier to someone new.
Would you like to exchange greater pleasure with your
mate? Do you want your husband to be as crazy for you as
when he bedded you years ago? You want and deserve
great sex, and I am going to show you how you can be a
sober, mature adult on the one hand, and in a permanent
state of arousal and allurement on the other. Bind a man
to you, improve your figure, and make yourself a femme
fatale. Leave other women who begrudgingly give oral sex
limp in the dust as you develop this priceless sexual art.
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